Day 7: Your Ex……
I have started and deleted this letter three times now. It seems to me I shouldn’t have a hard time talking to you by now, but I am at a loss.
I want you to know, again, that I am fully aware that I handled things the wrong way, and for that I am truly sorry. I will not take all of the blame for our relationship, but I will certainly own my share. I should not have had an affair. I know that. Hell, I knew while I was doing it that it was wrong, but as you have said, I didn’t stop it. I never thought I would be capable of being that person, and I am not at all proud of it.
I hope that we can come to a point where we can be friends. I think we get really close to it some days. We will always be connected to each other, because of our children. I want us to be able to raise them together, and get along in the process. Our constant fighting is going to have a permanent, negative effect on them, and we owe them better.
I hope that one day you can find a way to forgive me. Maybe that is too much to ask, but I really hope not. Over the course of our relationship, you have asked me to forgive you for many, many, things. Sometimes things that really shouldn’t be forgiven. I always did. Maybe too easily. I really think that you could try to do the same for me. I cannot and will not live in guilt. If you are ever going to move past this, you have to let it go.
I really wish that you would not say the terrible things that you say about me to our children. They are kids, Bob, and I am their mother. I would never sabotage your relationship with them, and I wish that you would not try to sabotage mine. You cannot use the ugly, hateful words you do, and expect them to be able to respect me.
Whatever happens down the road, I hope you find happiness. I hope that you can resolve your issues and find peace. You deserve happiness and peace, and the only thing preventing you from having it is you. I hope that you can get out of your own way, and enjoy your life.