The Last Time

So, don’t you think it’s about time to grow up?

Don’t you ever get tired of deflecting guilt, hiding your insecurities in a bottle, or behind your fists, and making your children suffer the consequences for your poor decisions?  You seem to work harder at looking for the easy way out of life’s problems than you would if you just took care of them honestly, maturely.  It must be exhausting.

I used to think that I felt sorry for you.  For a long time, I fell into your web, and cleaned up your mess, fixed your mistakes, and always forgave, and forgave, and forgave some more.  No more.  And never, ever, again.

I realize now that I don’t feel sorry for you, I pity you.  True, deep down pity.  There is a difference, you know.  Do you even care?  Does it matter to you at all what you are doing to the people who still care about you?  I honestly don’t think it does.  I am sure that as you are reading this, your anger is growing, burning hot and bright inside of you.  I don’t care.  You deserve to hear the truth, and you choose to read my blog, so you are gonna get the truth.

You said that you want to be my friend.  You have known me for half of my life, surely you know that if you do or say anything to hurt my children, there is no chance for friendship with me.  You have seen me cut people from my life before for the same reason, why, why would you think you are any different?

Things are going to change for you.  Things are going to change for my children.  If you know me at all, you know that I am stubborn and headstrong to a fault, and I will make this work or die trying.  Just know that I will not let you ruin my children’s lives.  I will not let you hurt them.  I will not let you threaten their chances for a normal happy life.

Twenty one years ago, I became a mother.  From that moment on, I have had one job.  To raise my children and bring them into adulthood, happy, safe, educated, and prepared.  How dare you or anyone else try to stop me from doing all that is necessary to accomplish that?  What right do you have to even think of interfering in that?

I just need you to realize, and truly accept, that you cannot play the victim anymore with me.  It won’t work, and it just makes you show your true self in an even worse light than before.  It’s too late for your excuses.  There isn’t any more time for you to make up your mind to change.  I made up my mind.  Think of this as the last mess I will ever clean up for you.  It’s over.  Done.  The last time.

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