7 Steps to Guarantee Lifelong Unhappiness

Hold onto the past. Keep old hurts and wrongdoings close, visit them often to keep the wounds raw and opened. Don’t be tempted to listen to any apologies, they probably don’t mean it anyway.

Always hurt people before they have a chance to hurt you. Don’t allow yourself to be open with people, they will only use your openness against you. Demand total honesty and openness, never give it. Always be sure that you can walk away without looking back.

Do not have any pastimes or outside activities. Do not have a circle of friends or a support system of any kind. Work, eat, sleep, repeat. Do not deviate from this pattern.

Always think about what you don’t want to happen. “I can’t lose my job”, “She/he is going to break up with me”, “I am going to lose my house”. Play these tapes over and over in your mind. Make them a mantra, of sorts. If you should accidentally think of things you would like to happen, stop yourself immediately.

Do not take any responsibility for your own life. Never admit guilt. If left with no other option, find some reason to justify your actions. “I did that because I was stressed out”, or “I might have done that, but YOU did THIS” work well.

Always look for the gray cloud behind every silver lining. Look as hard as necessary for the bad in every situation. Never see just the good and be grateful. As a matter of fact, never be grateful, for anything. No matter what.

Cultivate a sense of entitlement. Do not make your own good fortune, look for it to be handed to you, and complain incessantly when it’s not. Allow jealousy to overtake you. This will help a deep and lasting bitterness and resentment against all humankind to grow.

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One Response to 7 Steps to Guarantee Lifelong Unhappiness

  1. paulapet says:

    those are some wonderful suggestions that I will make sure not to take.

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