Dear Valued Customers,
Yes, it’s me again, your cheerful cashier. Only today, I am not quite so cheerful, and do you know why? That would be because in a couple of hours, I am going to have to leave my home and go to Grocery World for the evening, after being there last night, which was, quite simply, THE NIGHT FROM HELL! You see, last night I ran the express lane. This means that customers who are only buying a few items, in this case no more than 20, can have a faster moving line and be on their way quickly. Valued Customers, please count your items! This will solve so many of our little issues in our relationship, and will make all of our lives much simpler.
You see, Grocery World has a policy. Cashiers are not permitted to ask you to leave the express line, even when you clearly have upwards of 50 or more items in your cart. A lot of you already know this policy, which is no doubt why so many of you do this. What happens then is the true express customers get angry, very angry. They stew in their righteous indignation while you pile an entire grocery order on my belt, and by the time their turn comes, they are ready to blow. And they do. At me. Last night, one dear woman was so upset, she demanded to speak to a manager. The conversation went something like this:
Indignant Woman: These people clearly have too many items! She (pointing at me) hasn’t said one word! She just rings them up! No matter how many things there are!
Mr. Manager: Ma’am, our policy is not to deny service. Our corporate headquarters won’t allow us to say anything.
Indignant Customer: But that’s not right! They have to follow the rules!
Mr. Manager: I understand your concern ma’am. It’s really a no win situation for us. (looking at me) Have people come through with more than 20 items?
Me: Yes, they have.
Mr. Manager: Have you said anything to them?
Me: No, because we aren’t supposed to say anything.
Mr. Manager: Maybe you can suggest to them that they not use the express line next time?
Me: (looking at him incredulous) Really? Um, ok. That’s what I’ll do then.
See? Mr. Manager goes double talking all over himself, I am really and truly angry, and everyone in the line is now angry that it’s taking even longer to get out of the store. Seriously? It would be so great if you would just count your items.
As long as we are on this topic, I would like to point out that if you have 60 items, and separate them into 3 separate orders, it is still 60 items! This does nothing but make my blood boil! All of this blood boiling is taking away from my adorableness, and that makes everyone sad.