I haven’t posted much lately, I know. I am sure all of my many (3) regular readers have been wondering why. It’s not that I have nothing to say, quite the opposite, in fact. I have a LOT to say, a lot to process. So much, in fact that I don’t know where to begin.
About a month ago, there was a crisis in my family. Not a life or death crisis, everyone is fine, but a crisis that requires everyone’s full attention nonetheless. No. Wait. I should back up here a second. Remember I spent Valentine’s Day weekend with Mr. Wrong? Well, Mr. Wrong and I got along really well that weekend, and spent the next several weekends together after that. So, when the family crisis hit, we were in a pretty good place relationship wise. Not perfect, by any stretch, but good. So anyway, we have this crisis, and both Tinkerbell and Bear Cub come to me, separately, and ask me to move back in. Honestly, my fist thought was to say no. Were Mr. Wrong and I ready to live together? Was I ready to give up the independence I had fought so hard for, and finally had for the first time in my life? The more I thought about it though, my biggest objection was that Mr. Wrong didn’t ask. Not once. He knew that the kids had asked me, I even jokingly said, in his earshot, Well, I haven’t been invited yet. Not. One. Word. So, at the end of the weekend I asked him his thoughts. We had a long talk, and agreed it would be best for our family. So, here I am, living with Mr. Wrong! I am not going to say that it has been easy, because it is a lot of really hard work, every day. I can tell you that in a lot of ways, it is better than I thought it would be. It is a lot of work, but we are both working for the most part. There are glimpses of the way things were before a lot more frequently than I would like, and I have no idea how Mr. Wrong really feels about me, deep down. All of these things will need to be talked about, fought about, cried about. For the first time though, I have every confidence that they will be, and that is a good feeling.
There has been fallout because of my decision. My real friends were and are, cautiously optimistic, and as supportive as always. Other people, people who claim friendship, have been not so supportive. Have insinuated that I took the easy way out, that I gave up. This is far, far from the truth. I have learned so many things this past year, made many, many mistakes in the process, and I do not feel like I have taken the easy way out ever in my entire life. What they don’t understand, what no one seems to get is that sometimes staying and working on a relationship takes more courage than leaving. Being willing to stand your ground and fight for what you believe in takes a much stronger person than it does to turn your back on your beliefs. Hopefully, we will come through all of this a stronger family, with a happy marriage. I truly believe that we can. If not, both of us will be able to say that we honestly tried with everything we have. That, my friends, is courage.