I have been thinking about you a lot lately. I’m not really sure why exactly, because in those first few weeks I trained myself pretty well to think about anything BUT you. I am not as on guard anymore, the passing of time has lessened the pain that thinking or hearing your name used to cause me. You probably will never read this, but I am an optimist, and I can always hope.
You and I were never meant to be forever. I think I always knew that, deep down, but God, I really wanted us to be. You were never meant to be my ending, but you were exactly who I needed you to be at exactly the right time, and I will always be grateful to you for that. You came into my life when I was facing challenges and decisions I had put off for too long, and somehow you knew exactly how to support me through that. I will always be grateful to you for that.
The part of you that you share with the world is such a small part of who you really are. You wrap yourself in toughness and bravado, in a senseless attempt to hide the softhearted, compassionate, caring person that I know you to be. Don’t be afraid of that side of yourself, and please, don’t ever be afraid to show it to the people you care about. The person you are behind your act is far too good a person to miss, and I am so thankful that I got to know the real you, no matter how brief a time.
I will still think of you, in a thousand random moments of every day life. When I hear a particular song, or when I make a fried egg sandwich. Hearing someone say incredibles, or God help me, use the words messy and lesbian in a sentence will always make me laugh. I hope it makes you laugh too.
I hope you are happy, and you have found what you have been looking for. I hope that you stay that way, because you deserve to be happy always. Take care little one, I hope we meet again one day.