Things I know for sure

I absolutely love Oprah. I think she is amazing. I love that she is a strong, powerful, successful woman. I love that she works so hard at truly knowing herself,and being the best person she can be. In her magazine,she does a feature every month called things I know for sure. This blog is my attempt to decide what I know for sure.

I know that I love my children, regardless of what they do or say. I can think of nothing that could ever change that. I would walk away from just about anyone else in my life, but never them, no matter what. They are aware of this, and as teenagers, don’t always like it. I hope that one day they will appreciate it for what it is. Unconditional love.

I know that I am a strong person. Much stronger than most people give me credit for. My ex has always loved to tell me I am weak, that I can’t handle life on my own, but I think if he were honest with himself he would see that any situation we were ever in, when our backs were to the wall, when all hope seemed lost, he went ballistic, and I went to work. I have learned that tears are not a sign of weakness, and it is the strongest people among us who can look at their true feelings, really feel them, and move on.

I know that I have spent too many years of my life trying to be the person other people wanted me to be. For years I have been terrified by the thought of someone, anyone not liking me. The danger here is that when you work so hard to be someone you aren’t, you tend to forget who you are. For the first time in my life, I am finding out who I am. The good, the bad, the ugly. I like the person I am today enough that it’s ok if someone else doesn’t like me. That is a great feeling. The important people, the people who stay no matter what, like me in spite of my flaws, and the rest? Well, I guess the rest of the people don’t really matter, do they?

I know that loving someone, really being in love with another human being, never makes you sad. It doesn’t hurt. In fact, it feels really, really good. The intensity of some of my recent relationships was amazing, intoxicating, and ultimately painful. That isn’t love. I know that to have a great relationship, both people have to know the difference, and have to be ready to work really hard to protect that love, no matter what. That relationship is out there for everyone, and it is worth the wait, I know that for sure.

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